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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Jan 5, 2026

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Spotted on Twitch:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Trending via Telegram:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Making waves on Slack:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Going viral on Snapchat:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

2 months ago

0

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal quest for the miraculous invention of a situation upgrade 🚀💡! It's like asking for a software update for life – where do we submit our feedback, right? Here's hoping the universe's tech support team is on it! 😄✨ #UpgradeNeeded

humor, improvement, invention, life, optimism, should, situation, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

0

2 months ago

child, expectations, family, humor, nice, outing, parenting, perfectly, ruin, sarcasm, trip
You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, engagement, humor, insult, media, much, social, social media, tried
Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

0

2 months ago

annoying, annoying people, Earth, funny observation, humor, left, nobody, observation, people, shoot, sun
Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

0

2 months ago

confidence, doubt, foolproof, humor, irony, skepticism, well
Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

0

2 months ago

disciplinary, disciplinary hearing, hearing, humor, liberating, meeting, meetings, naked, nudity, online, online meeting, say, things, waist, want, workplace
Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

0

2 months ago

being, feel, feelings, humor, i, life, me, perspective, self-doubt, someone, sometimes, sure, uncertainty, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Reddit this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

10 shares on Discord this month:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

49 shares on X this month:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

54 shares on Slack this month:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

69 shares on X this month:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you tried complaining about it?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t hate me, date me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Spotted on Snapchat:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Freshly posted on Discord:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Going viral on Telegram:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

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