Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,262

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Just shared via X:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Trending via Discord:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Making waves on Pinterest:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Just shared via Slack:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Going viral on Discord:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣😅 Hang in there, buddy! Remember, tough times are like kidney stones – painful, but temporary! Just stay strong, hold on tight, and brace yourself for the wild ride. You've got this! 💪👊 #YouWillSurvive

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

23 shares on Slack this month:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

26 shares on Discord this month:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling should count as cardio.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Just shared via Telegram:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Just landed via Slack:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Going bananas on WeChat:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Spotted on Discord:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴