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Commentary:
"Looks like someone's been on the express train to Disappointmentville! 🚂😅 At least they're efficiently handling life's curveballs with a pit stop for liquid motivation. Here's hoping the bar visit brings some much-needed cheer! 🍻🌟"

alcohol, bad, bad day, bar, coping, coping mechanism, day, drinking, humor, i, liquor, liquor store, mechanism, stop, store, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

1 month ago
bedtime, before, day, even, every, hope, human, humans, humor, i, insomnia, management, midnight, normal, normal human, procrastination, sleep, time, time management, today, tomorrow, yesterday
You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

1 month ago
activity, apple, humor, joke, me, original, picking, reference, sin, temptation, want
Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

1 month ago
adult, birth, crying, humor, joke, life, much, perspective, sarcasm, world
I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

1 month ago
am, aspiration, dressing, fashion, humor, i, job, model, sweatpants, want
Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

3 months ago
bag, bottle, experience, inconvenience, leak, leaking, top, water, water bottle, worst, worst experience
Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

1 month ago
advice, cooking, humor, marriage, pancake, pancakes, relationship, sometimes, throw, throw out

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Freshly posted on X:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Going viral on Discord:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Freshly posted on X:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

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Activity Log ✨

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

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Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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