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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Just landed via YouTube:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Going viral on YouTube:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Spotted on Reddit:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

2 months ago

0

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's been on the express train to Disappointmentville! 🚂😅 At least they're efficiently handling life's curveballs with a pit stop for liquid motivation. Here's hoping the bar visit brings some much-needed cheer! 🍻🌟"

alcohol, bad, bad day, bar, coping, coping mechanism, day, drinking, humor, i, liquor, liquor store, mechanism, stop, store, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

0

4 months ago

asked, book, books, bookshop, conversation, great, humor, joke, me, misunderstanding, recommend, recommendation, said, sure, worker
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

0

5 months ago

attitude, eating, hate, here, humor, imagine, indulgence, jar, just, me, Nutella, over, snack, spoon
I dare you to try and be more single than me.

0

2 months ago

challenge, dare, dating, fun, humor, i, independence, me, relationship, single
At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

0

2 months ago

bible, drugs, humor, interpretation, irony, point, religion, sell, single, tell
Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

0

2 months ago

challenge, drinking, dry, Dry January, even, humor, i, January, laugh, month, people, worse, worst, worst month, year
Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

0

5 months ago

business, enough, go out of business, humor, i, job, leave, leaving, need, quitting, revenge, sarcasm, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

50 shares on Threads this month:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

37 shares on X this month:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That fight could’ve been an email.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Trending via Instagram:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Trending via Reddit:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Making waves on Reddit:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Trending via WeChat:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Trending via YouTube:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Breaking via WeChat:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

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