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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

6 minutes ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Going viral on Reddit:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Just landed via Slack:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Going viral on Reddit:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Going viral on X:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Just shared via X:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Shared recently on X:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Jan 22, 2025

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the struggle of the generations past! 🎶💸 Today's youth can simply hit repeat on their favorite song without breaking the bank. Talk about a bargain for their earworm needs! 😄🎵 #DigitalAgeBenefits #ThankYouStreamingPlatforms

experience, good, money, music, never, pain, pocket, song, spending, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

6 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Just landed via Instagram:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Seen just now on Slack:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

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