Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.
  • I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.
  • Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.
  • Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.
  • I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.
  • Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.