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Commentary:
"Imagine the look on Benjamin Franklin's face when you tell him about your hi-tech stove 🔥📶 He'd probably wonder if lightning could strike twice in the same place! ⚡️😄 #FutureIsNow"

back, benjamin, Benjamin Franklin, franklin, history, humor, inform, invention, stove, technology, time, time travel, travel, wifi

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wake me up when I’m rich!

0

2 months ago

ambition, dream, humor, me, money, rich, sleep, wake
Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

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2 months ago

apocalypse, best, beverage, comedy, dark, dark humor, humor, joke, satire, war, wine, WWIII
Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

0

3 months ago

commercial, commercials, complaint, even, humor, maybe, paid, paying, payment, service, services, stop, streaming, streaming service, subscription, us, volume, watch
I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, anything, claws, convenience, humor, i, opening, package, reality, violence, want, Wolverine
Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

0

2 months ago

13th, awful, day, every, Friday, humor, joke, mean, meaning, negativity, something, superstition, used
I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

0

2 months ago

away, boundary, conversation, humor, i, keep, kids, lot, me, parenting, people, swear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Telegram this month:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

52 shares on X this month:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

17 shares on Slack this month:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Live now on Twitch:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Seen just now on Twitch:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Just landed via Instagram:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Just landed via X:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Spotted on Messenger:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Just shared via Telegram:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Going viral on Threads:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨