Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.
  • Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.
  • Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.
  • Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.
  • I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.
  • If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.