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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,245

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Spotted on X:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Just landed via WeChat:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Just shared via WeChat:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Seen just now on WeChat:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

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TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.
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Commentary:
Well, it seems like whoever said that quote must have been sorely disappointed when they realized that grave digging doesn't come with commercial breaks or a laugh track! TV really does have a way of making everything look so effortless, doesn't it? Remember, always take TV portrayals with a grain of salt – especially when it comes to unconventional career choices!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on X this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Just shared via Facebook:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Just shared via Twitch:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Just landed via X:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Just shared via Twitch:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Live now on Twitch:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Live now on Instagram:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

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