Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Jan 5, 2026

3,271

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Trending via Slack:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Trending via Instagram:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Live now on Reddit:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Live now on WeChat:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Trending via Reddit:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

2 months ago

0

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, Twitter – the land of hot takes and questionable decisions! 🐦🔥 It's like a chaotic party where the only rule is "tweet now, think later." 🎉🤔 Who knew 280 characters could cause so much trouble? 😂 Just remember, sometimes it's best to have a chaperone in the form of common sense! 🤓🚨 #TweetResponsibly

example, humor, left, media, most, prime, social, social media, supervision, Twitter, unsupervised, us, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

0

2 months ago

back, balcony, communication, country, decisions, fact, humor, i, people, speak, wrong
Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

0

2 months ago

argument, ask, back, communication, humor, lawn, marriage, middle, mowing, relationship, silence, silent, tip, wife
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, brain, choice, decision, humor, insomnia, let, life, life choice, me, overthinking, self-reflection, sleep, stay, together
By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

0

2 months ago

butt, Facebook, humor, i, kiss, me, media, power, relationship, restricted, social, social media, unfriended
There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

0

2 months ago

going, guy, humor, irony, jail, joke, misunderstanding, prison, Yale
Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

0

2 months ago

90s, adulting, affordability, affordable, feel, humor, i, nostalgia, scam

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

31 shares on Slack this month:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

17 shares on Discord this month:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

64 shares on X this month:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Spreading quickly via X:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Just shared via Messenger:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Breaking via Messenger:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Just landed via Instagram:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

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