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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Going viral on Instagram:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Spotted on WeChat:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Just shared via X:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Trending via Telegram:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Breaking via TikTok:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Witty quote about life skills, emphasizing the humorous importance of pushing and pulling.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of push and pull! It's like trying to navigate your way through a door marked 'Pull' when you're pushing with all your might 🤦‍♂️. But hey, at least now you have the key to unlocking life's mysteries – just remember to use the right word at the right time! 🚪🔑 #WordPlay #PushAndPull"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

37 shares on Discord this month:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

35 shares on X this month:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Donuts hug you from the inside.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Making waves on Instagram:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Going viral on Slack:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Just landed via Instagram:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Broadcasted on X:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Going viral on YouTube:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

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