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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,284

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Just landed via Reddit:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Trending via WeChat:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Breaking via Discord:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Breaking via Slack:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Just shared via Threads:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Making waves on Telegram:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

1 week ago

Humorous quote about the challenge of others controlling the computer differently.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watching someone else navigate the computer like it's a jungle gym instead of a straight path is a true test of patience and a delicate dance of self-restraint… 🙈💻 But hey, variety is the spice of life, right? 😂 #TechStruggles"

challenge, challenges, computer, control, differently, doing, else, frustration, humor, life, someone, watch, watching

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

78 shares on X this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They expect me to work at work.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Trending via Instagram:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Just shared via Slack:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Spotted on X:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Just shared via X:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Broadcasted on X:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Breaking via Instagram:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Making waves on Reddit:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Just shared via WeChat:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

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