Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sure, just like how I paid for this coffee shop, so I'm taking every latte and croissant in sight! ☕️🥐 Who needs rules when you've got a wallet, right?"

absurdity, entitlement, humor, jets, military, paid, payment, satire, should, stuff, take, tanks, want, whenever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

0

2 months ago

die, funeral, humor, man, norms, proposal, real, real man, social, social norms, someone, wedding
The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

0

2 months ago

animal, concern, depressed, depression, humor, irony, lion
Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, cow, humor, longer, Mercury, never, retrograde, sun, swim, trust
My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

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2 months ago

activity, food, going, humor, just, mexican, Mexican restaurant, relaxation, restaurant, restaurants, routine, self-care
I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

0

2 months ago

back, date, difference, dropping, evolution, generational, generational difference, humor, language, language evolution, nostalgia, past, reference, slang, start, year, year reference, Zoomer
I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

0

2 months ago

art, hang, humor, lie, painting, relationship, sex, straight, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

62 shares on Slack this month:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Trending via Instagram:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Going viral on Messenger:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Just shared via Twitch:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Going viral on X:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Shared recently on Threads:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨