Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sure, just like how I paid for this coffee shop, so I'm taking every latte and croissant in sight! ☕️🥐 Who needs rules when you've got a wallet, right?"

absurdity, entitlement, humor, jets, military, paid, payment, satire, should, stuff, take, tanks, want, whenever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

1 week ago

calory, chocolate, diet, election, humor, i, me, politics, promise, vote
Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

11 hours ago

aspiration, career, humor, irony, job, life, me, pursue, why
Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

2 weeks ago

family, humor, me, parent, parents, relationship, sarcasm, telling
Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

3 days ago

box, cat, else, God, gratitude, humor, i, pet, shit, thank
I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

1 day ago

A.I., AI, boyfriend, dating, humor, i, relationship, sorry, technology
Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

3 months ago

analogy, car, children, driving, emotional, emotional regulation, emotions, feelings, health, humor, mental, mental health, regulation, self-control, stuff, trunk, want

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Just landed via Telegram:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Live now on Telegram:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Spotted on Telegram:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Going bananas on Telegram:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Trending via Slack:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Trending via WeChat:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨