Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Just landed via Instagram:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Spotted on X:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Just shared via Discord:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Live now on TikTok:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Trending via Slack:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

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Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, Netflix, the ultimate tease! All these movies at your disposal, yet the one you're craving is nowhere to be found 🙈🍿 It's like looking for a needle in a haystack, but hey, at least you'll discover some hidden gems along the way! 😅🎥"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Telegram this month:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

67 shares on Discord this month:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

71 shares on Instagram this month:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Making waves on Telegram:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Trending via Instagram:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Breaking via Telegram:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Seen just now on YouTube:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

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