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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Jan 11, 2026

3,365

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Trending via TikTok:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Making waves on Reddit:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Going viral on Telegram:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Just landed via Discord:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Trending via Slack:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

2 months ago

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the joy of experiencing the unexpected sinus cleanse brought on by uncontrollable laughter! 🥂😂 Just imagine the stories you'd have to tell at parties after a comical beverage mishap like that. Who needs a boring, nose-drip-free life when you can have memorable moments like these instead? 😉👃

bleak, bleak life, drink, experience, funny experience, humor, joy, laugh, laughter, life, mishap, never, nose, shoot

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

2 months ago

anonymity, avoidance, boundary, desire, desire to disappear, disappear, escaping, escaping recognition, i, interaction, longer, me, people, personal, personal boundary, privacy, recognition, social, social avoidance, social interaction, someone, unknown, want, wanting, wanting to be unknown
I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

2 months ago

humor, i, irritate, irritation, issues, me, motivational, self-awareness
I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, joke, mad, madness, mind, mind reader, psychic, reader, wit
80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

2 months ago

argument, arguments, eaten, food, humor, hunger, mood, patience, relationship, someone, start
I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

2 months ago

age, fool, gentler, i, kinder, pity
Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

4 months ago

absolutely, around, calling, day, doing, doing nothing, floating, got, hr, humor, insult, jellyfish, just, nothing, office, office humor, sent, someone, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Spotted on X:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Breaking via WeChat:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Live now on Telegram:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Making waves on Messenger:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Just landed via Twitch:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

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