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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Just landed via Discord:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Trending via WeChat:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

1 month ago

Witty quote about electric cars and diarrhea highlighting the fear of not reaching home safely.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the riveting saga of electric cars and diarrhea—one zips you along silently, the other accelerates your trip to the bathroom! 🚗💨💩 Just remember, when nature calls, you better hope your battery is fully charged! ⚡😬 #ChargeUpBeforeYouDropOff

anxiety, car, cars, common, diarrhea, electric, electric car, fear, home, humor, joke, making, transportation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

18 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,764

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Live now on X:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Making waves on Instagram:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Breaking via Discord:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Live now on Snapchat:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Seen just now on Threads:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Live now on WeChat:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

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