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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Just landed via YouTube:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Breaking via TikTok:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Just landed via Twitch:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Shared recently on X:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Playful joke imagining AirPods with tongues licking ears when low on battery, humorous tech humor.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine getting a surprise 'lick alert' from your AirPods! 🤪👅 Just when you thought they couldn't get any more personalized… Battery low or just feeling extra affectionate? 😂 #AirPodsGoneWild"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

61 shares on Discord this month:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

60 shares on X this month:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

For whom the Fetty Waps.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hang in there, it gets worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Just shared via Discord:

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Trending via YouTube:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Going viral on TikTok:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Spotted on Instagram:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Just shared via Slack:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

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