Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,784

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Breaking via TikTok:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Shared recently on X:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Just landed via X:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Just shared via Twitch:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

2 months ago

0

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
👽🎬🛸 "When aliens tune into our movies for a crash course on Earth, things could get out of this world! 🌍😱 Let's hope their invasion is more 'E.T.' than 'Independence Day' – nobody wants a misunderstood extraterrestrial fashion faux pas! 👾🎥"

aliens, culture, fiction, fitting, hopes, humor, imagination, invasion, movy, parody, science, science fiction, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

0

1 month ago

activity, boys, broke, budget-friendly, friendship, group, group activity, humor, iced, iced matcha, matcha, me, photography, pictures, take, taking
The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

0

3 months ago

ask, direction, directions, error, everything, follow, Google, Google Map, grok, humor, lake, map, mistake, navigation, people, same, straight, technology, user, user error
Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

0

2 months ago

choice, communication, couple, decision, dinner, food, help, humor, husband, i, relationship, turn
Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

0

2 months ago

around, digging, everything, grave, here, humor, i, own, responsibility, sarcasm, self-deprecation
It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

0

2 months ago

business, detachment, interest, peaceful, people, personal, personal space, social, space, tranquility
Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

0

2 months ago

AI, automation, business, communication, deal, deals, emails, everyone, future, humor, just, know, let, point, talk, technology, tell, texts, time, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,005

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Trending via Snapchat:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Just shared via Threads:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Making waves on WeChat:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Just landed via Facebook:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

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