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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Trending via Discord:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Just landed via Instagram:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Spreading quickly via Threads:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Just landed via Twitch:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Breaking via YouTube:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about childhood misconceptions involving shrimp cocktails and drunkness.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the innocence of childhood misconceptions! 🍤🍸 Who wouldn't want a tipsy shrimp cocktail, right? Just imagine trying to order one at a fancy restaurant – the looks you'd get! 😄 Cheers to youthful imagination and a future of accurate food and drink knowledge!"

alcohol, childhood, cocktail, drunk, humor, i, kid, misunderstanding, shrimp, thought, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Slack this month:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

58 shares on Threads this month:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

96 shares on Threads this month:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Being social sucks all my energy.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It was me, I let the dogs out.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Going bananas on Slack:

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Trending via Instagram:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

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