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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2448 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,610

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,610

41 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Trending via X:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Just landed via Instagram:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Going viral on X:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Spotted on Twitch:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Just shared via YouTube:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Just landed via Instagram:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Spotted on Threads:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Jan 26, 2025

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

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Commentary:
Ah, the childhood dreams of a future entrepreneurial mastermind! 🌟 Who needs fairy tales when you can aim to satisfy user needs and meet business goals for transformative outcomes? 🚀 Dream big, grow up, and conquer the world – one satisfied user at a time! 💁🏻‍♀️👩🏻‍💻 #UserGoals #BusinessDreams

always, aspirations, business, business goals, childhood, childhood aspirations, dreams, girl, goals, growing, growth, humor, i, irony, little, little girl, needs, outcomes, satisfaction, transformative, transformative outcomes, user, user needs

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2448 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,610

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,610

41 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Making waves on Telegram:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Reported on Messenger:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Going viral on TikTok:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Seen just now on X:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Trending via Telegram:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

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