Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.
  • I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.
  • In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.
  • Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.
  • When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”
  • I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.