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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Shared recently on X:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Trending via Twitch:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Just shared via Messenger:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Just shared via Slack:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Live now on WhatsApp:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Spotted on Threads:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

2 months ago

0

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the grapefruit – the rebellious cousin of the fruit family 🍇! Unapologetically tangy and notoriously confusing with its name game 😆. Whoever thought naming it grapefruit next to grape was just asking for fruity chaos 🍊🍇. Let's invite them to our next fruit salad shindig for some good laughs and juicy puns! 🥳🍍🍓

fruit, grape, grapefruit, hang, hang out, i, incompetence, incompetent, legend, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

0

2 months ago

being, gracefully, happiness, happy, health, humor, insane, insanity, joy, life, mental, mental health, secret, self-acceptance, uniqueness
I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

0

2 months ago

energy, hope, i, lesson, light, parenting, room, teen, turn, year
I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

0

2 months ago

around, day, feel, feeling, going, humor, i, life, me, procrastination, seize, struggle
Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

0

2 months ago

ancestral, ancestral petroleum, ancient, beautiful, being, beverage, big, coke, comparison, energy, energy grid, funny comparison, grid, humor, petroleum, soda, Sprite, taste, while
Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

0

2 months ago

being, compatibility, humor, irony, lesson, mean, relationship, socks, teach, together
Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

0

2 months ago

animal, cute, cute animal, distraction, dog, donut, funny moment, humor, i, late, moment, pet, photos, procrastination, shape, sleeping, sorry, take

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

98 shares on Threads this month:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

83 shares on Messenger this month:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,269

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Live now on X:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Just landed via X:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Just landed via Pinterest:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Going viral on YouTube:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Spotted on Facebook:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Just landed via YouTube:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Broadcasted on X:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

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