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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

5 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Seen just now on Discord:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Shared recently on Slack:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Making waves on Reddit:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Reported on Threads:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

6 months ago

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the grapefruit – the rebellious cousin of the fruit family 🍇! Unapologetically tangy and notoriously confusing with its name game 😆. Whoever thought naming it grapefruit next to grape was just asking for fruity chaos 🍊🍇. Let's invite them to our next fruit salad shindig for some good laughs and juicy puns! 🥳🍍🍓

fruit, grape, grapefruit, hang, hang out, i, incompetence, incompetent, legend, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

5 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Shared recently on X:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Live now on Pinterest:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Reported on Threads:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Going viral on Twitch:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Making waves on Messenger:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

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