Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Oh, the grapefruit – the rebellious cousin of the fruit family 🍇! Unapologetically tangy and notoriously confusing with its name game 😆. Whoever thought naming it grapefruit next to grape was just asking for fruity chaos 🍊🍇. Let's invite them to our next fruit salad shindig for some good laughs and juicy puns! 🥳🍍🍓

fruit, grape, grapefruit, hang, hang out, i, incompetence, incompetent, legend, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

1 month ago
beautiful, beautiful ruby, beauty, bright, bright red, emerge, good, hot, hot shower, humor, i, irony, red, relaxation, ruby, self-care, shower, why
Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

1 month ago
5, ago, boss, diarrhea, embarrassment, humor, i, job, laid, layoff, miscommunication, months, prank, telling, texting, workplace
The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

2 days ago
5, am, bed, bedtime, before, book, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, me, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, read, reading, sleep, sleepy, thing, whole, worth
I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

1 month ago
figure, figure out, humor, i, just, list, procrastination, responsibility, tasks, to-do, to-do list
There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

1 month ago
attack, dream, expenses, having, homeownership, house, humor, i, own, prices, reality
The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

1 month ago
animal, concern, divorce, humor, independence, lion, metaphor, relationship, strength

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Going viral on Twitch:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Just shared via Telegram:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Just shared via Reddit:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Making waves on Facebook:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏