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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Making waves on Facebook:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Spotted on Discord:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Breaking via Threads:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

2 months ago

0

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the grapefruit – the rebellious cousin of the fruit family 🍇! Unapologetically tangy and notoriously confusing with its name game 😆. Whoever thought naming it grapefruit next to grape was just asking for fruity chaos 🍊🍇. Let's invite them to our next fruit salad shindig for some good laughs and juicy puns! 🥳🍍🍓

fruit, grape, grapefruit, hang, hang out, i, incompetence, incompetent, legend, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

0

2 months ago

belief, humor, miracle, observation, religion, skepticism, someone, water, wine
If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

0

2 months ago

balcony, care, gardening, humor, i, much, need, pill, plants, relationship, responsibility
I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

0

3 months ago

emotion, i, jealous, jealousy, music, only, personal, personal taste, playing, someone, song, taste, thought, uniqueness
The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

0

2 months ago

autobiography, going, growth, humor, ID, irony, learn, learning, lessons, life, life lessons, mistakes, personal, personal growth, self-reflection, think, title, titles
I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, door, doubt, everyday, everyday life, feel, forgetfulness, front, front door, hand, humor, i, life, locked, locking, staring, still, sure
Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, biology, bit, body, chemistry, chemistry lab, emotion, feel, feeling, human, lab, little, me, meat, nervous, pretty, reason, simply

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

28 shares on X this month:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Just landed via TikTok:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Going viral on Twitch:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Making waves on Twitch:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Trending via Threads:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Spotted on WeChat:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

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