Trendy Funny Quotes

  • He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.
  • I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.
  • One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.
  • Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.
  • The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.
  • Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.