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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Just shared via Slack:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Trending via Telegram:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Just landed via Threads:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Spotted on Messenger:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Freshly posted on X:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Live now on Instagram:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

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Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”
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Commentary:
Sugar is like that fun friend who always knows how to lift your spirits, but can be a bit too clingy at times. Meanwhile, broccoli is like the reliable pal who quietly offers their support without demanding all your attention. So, in the battle of addictive treats versus dependable veggies, it seems we all need a little balance in our lives – a sweet treat here, a nutritious bite there, and don't forget to give broccoli a chance to shine in its own quiet way.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

92 shares on Slack this month:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I hope this email kills us both.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Making waves on Discord:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Seen just now on Slack:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Making waves on Facebook:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Freshly posted on Discord:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

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