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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Shared recently on X:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Just landed via Threads:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Going viral on Threads:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Just shared via Threads:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Making waves on Facebook:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Trending via Messenger:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Windmill? Big fan.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning blades and taking names! 🌬️😂

big, fan, humor, joke, pun, windmill, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

0

2 months ago

bacon, cooking, food, humor, i, just, meal, people, portion
I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

0

2 months ago

amount, comedy, divine, divine test, faith, financial, financial success, gods, handle, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, me, money, next, religion, ridiculous, sarcasm, should, success, test, think, wealth
Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

0

2 months ago

comedy, date, humor, i, know, maybe, relationship, rom-com, script, start, writing
I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

0

2 months ago

blood, call, cravings, eat, emotions, everything, everywhere, feel, huge, humor, i, me, menstruation, people, period, scared, shark, Shark week, snapping, want, week
I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

0

2 months ago

card, clever, comparison, contrast, gordon, got, heart, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous comparison, mouth, personality, personality trait, ramsay, sarcasm, savage, savage mouth, sharp, sharp tongue, soft, soft heart, tongue, trait, witty
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

0

5 months ago

ago, animal, animals, better, cat, cat owner, easily, failure, food, giving, holy, humor, i, judge, just, organ, organ failure, owner, pet, pets, shit, starve, stubborn, taste, time, too, used, weeks, whim

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Making waves on Pinterest:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Seen just now on Threads:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Spotted on YouTube:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Seen just now on Discord:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Windmill? Big fan.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨