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Commentary:
"Plot twist: FBI agents reading through writers' search histories must have quite the rollercoaster of emotions 🕵️‍♂️📚💻. 'Just researching for the next bestseller, we swear!' #AuthorsUnderSurveillance"

call, creativity, crime, direct, FBI, give, Googling, heads, humor, joke, just, line, poison, research, safety, should, someone, story, writers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

86 shares on X this month:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

14 shares on X this month:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

52 shares on Messenger this month:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

43 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Just landed via Facebook:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Freshly posted on X:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Seen just now on Slack:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Just landed via X:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Breaking via Facebook:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨