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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Shared recently on Discord:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Just landed via Slack:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Live now on YouTube:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Spotted on Reddit:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Going viral on Discord:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

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Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.
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Commentary:
When you realize your jacket can't handle a light breeze, let alone winter ❄️🧥😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on X this month:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Trending via TikTok:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Going bananas on Threads:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Just shared via Telegram:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Trending via Messenger:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Live now on WeChat:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Freshly posted on X:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

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