Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Just landed via Slack:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Trending via Pinterest:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Spotted on TikTok:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Trending via WeChat:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Making waves on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Shared recently on Threads:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.
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Commentary:
Oh, the awkward moment when your playlist turns into a curse word bingo game with the family 😅🎵 Who knew that catchy tune had such a colorful vocabulary! Remember, always pre-screen those tracks before hitting play at family gatherings!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

81 shares on X this month:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Spotted on Twitch:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Going viral on Discord:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Breaking via Telegram:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Trending via Telegram:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Trending via WeChat:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

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