Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Going viral on Facebook:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Live now on Twitch:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Trending via WeChat:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Going viral on Reddit:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Shared recently on Slack:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Seen just now on Threads:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Just shared via Reddit:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Your 20s should be spent nervously sitting on the edge of the bed with rigid posture.

4 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds about right, but my posture is so bad my chiropractor calls me their best customer! 🛌😅💆‍♂️

20s, bed, edge, nervousness, posture, should, sitting, spent, twenty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

2 months ago

age, always, humor, me, older, people, personality, weird
I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

2 months ago

creative, humor, interpretation, just, late, procrastination, time
There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

2 months ago

another, fencing, guys, humorous, joke, kiss, kissing, playful, romantic, should, sport, trying, variant
Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

5 months ago

couch, humor, i, laziness, motivation, procrastination, sure, today
My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

2 months ago

crisis, empty, existential, existential crisis, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, joke, just, money, soul, struggle, wallet
Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

2 months ago

am, drama, fire, humor, i, irony, myself, nonchalant, self, set, unfortunately

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on X this month:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

67 shares on Telegram this month:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

23 shares on Discord this month:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Social media may have been a mistake.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Trending via Facebook:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Making waves on Slack:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Just shared via Messenger:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Spotted on Telegram:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Just shared via Twitch:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your 20s should be spent nervously sitting on the edge of the bed with rigid posture.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨