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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Trending via Threads:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Seen just now on Slack:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Live now on WeChat:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Going viral on Instagram:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of waiting for your girlfriend to get ready… a test of patience and shoe-tying skills! Remember, timing is everything – don't let those shoe-tying skills trip you up! 👠⏰😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Making waves on Discord:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Just shared via YouTube:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Spotted on Instagram:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Reported on Telegram:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Reported on Facebook:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Trending via Reddit:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

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