Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of waiting for your girlfriend to get ready… a test of patience and shoe-tying skills! Remember, timing is everything – don't let those shoe-tying skills trip you up! 👠⏰😂"

date, expectations, girlfriend, hours, humor, needs, problem, ready, relationship, sh, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

0

5 months ago

baby, determination, face, grab, humor, just, literally, mischief, parenting, step, toddler, want
Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

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5 months ago

companionship, death, die, humor, invitation, me, porch, relationship, sit, want
My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, cracks, every, fitness, glow, glow stick, humor, i, light, move, noise, pain, stick, time
I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

0

2 months ago

buffalo, buffalo chicken, chicken, diet, dieting, food, food humor, healthy, healthy option, humor, i, irony, let, love, me, men, option, quesadilla
Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

0

3 months ago

27, 30, age, aging, birthday, ever, humor, just, life, old, only, turn, younger, youth
If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

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2 months ago

alone, entertainment, humor, questions, relationship, show, TV, TV Show, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

52 shares on Threads this month:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

90 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

27 shares on X this month:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Just shared via Facebook:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Just shared via Messenger:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Spreading quickly via X:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Just landed via Facebook:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Making waves on Messenger:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Spotted on Facebook:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨