Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Breaking via TikTok:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Spotted on Messenger:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Shared recently on Discord:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Making waves on Telegram:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Live now on Facebook:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Spotted on Slack:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote highlighting coconut dangers over sharks with playful warning about swimming risks.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Coconuts: the silent assassins lurking in tropical paradise 🥥🦈 Who needs Jaws when you have falling coconuts to fear? Better stick to the pool, it's safer… unless there are coconuts growing nearby! 😂🌴 #CoconutConundrum"

being, coconut, danger, exactly, humor, i, infested, killed, odds, shark, swim, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

19 shares on Slack this month:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I would prefer not to.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

My parents think they know me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Live now on Telegram:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Making waves on Instagram:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Shared recently on Discord:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Just landed via Reddit:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴