Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Just shared via Discord:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Trending via Threads:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Making waves on Facebook:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Spotted on YouTube:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you need an outfit for that "I might meet an alien today" scenario! 👽🛸👗

clothing, exist, fashion, humor, occasion, shopping, style, Zara

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

0

2 months ago

activity, competition, exercise, friends, humor, i, nature, nature walk, only, outdoors, outrun, people, walk, walks
Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

0

2 months ago

diet, humor, lifestyle, never, pants, tight, tip, too, wear
The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

0

2 months ago

accuracy, accurate, bible, close, close range, humor, irony, range, throw
A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

0

2 months ago

estate, haunted, house, humor, listing, listing price, me, price, prices, real, real estate, scare
Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

0

2 months ago

activity, child, cleaning, fun, fun activity, home, organization, parent, parents, playdate, socialization, visit
69 but we both just farting.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, both, date, fart, humor, just, laughter, moment, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

82 shares on X this month:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Breaking via Twitch:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Trending via Telegram:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Trending via Pinterest:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Just landed via YouTube:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Trending via Instagram:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

69 but we both just farting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨