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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,878

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Shared recently on Discord:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Trending via Threads:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

1 week ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you need an outfit for that "I might meet an alien today" scenario! 👽🛸👗

clothing, exist, fashion, humor, occasion, shopping, style, Zara

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

2 months ago
able, being, form, humor, own, self-acceptance, sound, tolerance, tolerate, video, voice
I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

4 months ago
forgetfulness, humor, i, joke, memory, own, party, plan, planning, surprise, surprise party, swear, worse
Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

2 months ago
animal, cat, celebrity, every, humor, little, me, pet
It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

1 month ago
communication, friend, good, good friend, honesty, relationship, truth, understanding, want
An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

1 month ago
doppelganger, everyone, humor, identical, identity, joke, look-alike, looks, orgy, parody, satire, where
So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

1 month ago
again, humor, i, mammal, nature, over, planet, reptile, take, take over, takeover, think, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Trending via YouTube:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

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Activity Log ✨

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

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Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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