Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Going viral on Discord:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Spotted on TikTok:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Spotted on Messenger:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Trending via Telegram:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Just shared via X:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about gym sauna ban for overusing Star Trek joke.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone took the concept of "hot" banter a little too far! 🔥🚫 Seems like the sauna just couldn't handle that level of out-of-this-world humor! 🚀😂 Remember, there's a fine line between being steamy and being simply barred!

ban, fitness, gym, humor, joke, me, sauna, saying, Scotty, steam, times, too, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

64 shares on X this month:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

18 shares on Slack this month:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,754

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Trending via Messenger:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Trending via X:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

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