Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2262 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,424

Funny Quotes Topics

15,131

Funny Quotes Images

12,424

Updated

6 seconds ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Going viral on Reddit:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Just shared via Slack:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Going viral on Telegram:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Shared recently on Instagram:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Trending via Slack:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Spotted on Instagram:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.
On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the dilemma of our modern times: to be trapped in a vortex of cat videos and endless scrolling OR to brave the treacherous lands of 'No WiFi' zones. 🤔💻📵 It's a battle between #TeamNetflix and #TeamDisconnect… may the strongest signal prevail!"

, , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2262 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,424

Funny Quotes Topics

15,131

Funny Quotes Images

12,424

Updated

6 seconds ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Trending via Pinterest:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Going viral on X:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Reported on X:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Trending via Reddit:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴