Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?
  • An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.
  • They should invent health insurance that insures your health.
  • How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?
  • When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”
  • Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.