Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.
  • Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.
  • Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.
  • Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.
  • Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.
  • Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.