Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.
  • Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.
  • If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.
  • If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.
  • Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.
  • The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.