Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Going viral on WeChat:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Making waves on Messenger:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Breaking via Telegram:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Making waves on YouTube:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Trending via Discord:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Seen just now on Facebook:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the ghosts are feeling beefy! 🐄🌪️ Better moooo-ve out of the way and let them ghostly cow warriors settle their beef! 😄👻

cow, fight, fighting, ghost, ghosts, humor, joke, just, nature, over, tornado

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

0

2 months ago

humor, insomnia, media, relatable, sleep, social, social media, Twitter, welcome
Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, chasing, fitness, humor, ice cream, just, running, someone, truck
Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

0

2 months ago

adult, choice, done, ever, growing, growing up, humor, life, life choice, responsibility, sarcasm, thing, worst, worst thing
I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

0

1 month ago

adult, adult life, adulting, career, feel, humor, i, life, management, manager, promotion, quick, quick promotion, too, underqualification, workplace, workplace humor
I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

0

2 months ago

competition, creativity, diss, diss track, expression, going, hate, humor, i, love, much, music, personalization, poetry, rivalry, take, track, writing
The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

0

2 months ago

area, dating, hot, hot single, humor, irony, joke, money, single, singles, wallet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

52 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

29 shares on Slack this month:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

51 shares on Threads this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Just landed via TikTok:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Going viral on TikTok:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Spotted on Snapchat:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Freshly posted on X:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Trending via YouTube:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Just shared via Discord:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨