Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.
  • “I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”
  • Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.
  • Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.
  • How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.
  • Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.