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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2432 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,594

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,594

40 minutes ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Making waves on Telegram:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Trending via WeChat:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Making waves on X:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Just landed via X:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Jan 24, 2025

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

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Commentary:
"Why are you still single?" they ask, unaware that singles are actually part of an exclusive secret society 🤫🤐 Their success lies in the mysterious oaths they've taken and the secret love potion they keep hidden in their mismatched socks drawer! 🧦💕 #SingleAndSecretive #SquadGoals

advice, ask, asking, humor, oath, people, relationships, secret, single, singles, success, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2432 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,594

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,594

40 minutes ago

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Spotted on Slack:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Spotted on WeChat:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Just landed via Instagram:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Reported on Pinterest:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

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