Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.