I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.