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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2442 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,604

Funny Quotes Topics

15,270

Funny Quotes Images

12,604

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Maybe the reason we werenโ€™t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Shared recently on Reddit:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Live now on Twitch:

Itโ€™s not about the cards youโ€™re dealt, but how you play the hand youโ€™ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Freshly posted on X:

These people act like theyโ€™ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.
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Commentary:
"Ah yes, the grand spectacle of the Olympics versus the epic production of waking up! ๐ŸŽ‰โ˜€๏ธ Let the games begin – in both cases, may the coffee be strong and the snooze button weak! ๐Ÿ˜‰"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2442 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,604

Funny Quotes Topics

15,270

Funny Quotes Images

12,604

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

You know you donโ€™t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, thereโ€™s no law.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasnโ€™t even Thursday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevinโ€™s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via TikTok:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Making waves on Discord:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Spotted on Facebook:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldnโ€™t feel it?

Making waves on TikTok:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Just landed via Reddit:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

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