If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.