Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

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Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

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The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

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I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

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I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

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I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

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I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

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Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

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Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

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ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

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Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.