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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

38 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Just landed via Twitch:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Breaking via Messenger:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Trending via TikTok:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Making waves on Threads:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Just landed via Threads:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

6 months ago

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic Reddit relationship saga – where even a simple love squabble turns into a full-blown melodrama! 🎹💔 It's like a soap opera meets a circus act, complete with dramatic plot twists and a keyboard of emotions. Who knew marriage could be a musical rollercoaster? 🎭🎶😂"

absurdity, am, big, dropped, every, head, humor, husband, i, keys, piano, post, Reddit, relationship, teeth, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

38 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Breaking via Snapchat:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Shared recently on Threads:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Just shared via Threads:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Live now on TikTok:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

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