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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

31 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Trending via Slack:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Making waves on Instagram:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Trending via Telegram:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Breaking via TikTok:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

6 months ago

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous pile of clothes, the mysterious entity that defies all logic and grows taller with each passing day! 👕🧦 It's like a magical creature playing a never-ending game of Jenga on your bed! 🌟 Who knew laundry could be so mischievous and persistent? Perhaps it's time to call for backup – the laundry fairy, anyone? 🧚‍♂️✨

bed, clothes, funny observation, humor, laundry, mess, observation, own, pile, powers, procrastination, strange

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

31 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Making waves on Discord:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Just landed via Twitch:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Making waves on X:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

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