Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Trending via X:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Live now on X:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Shared recently on X:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Just landed via Instagram:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Just shared via Messenger:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Trending via Discord:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

1 month ago

Funny quote about aging highlighting morning neck pain with playful, witty humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging – waking up feeling like you've been practicing your bat pose all night 🦇😂 Who knew getting older would come with free neck pain as a bonus gift! Just part of the charming package deal, folks! 🎁 #AgingGracefully"

aging, bat, fun, getting, hanging, humor, morning, neck, neck pain, old, pain, sleep, upside, wake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on YouTube this month:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

79 shares on Reddit this month:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Breaking via YouTube:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Trending via Reddit:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Going viral on TikTok:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Making waves on Discord:

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

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