Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,562

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Making waves on WeChat:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Going viral on Twitch:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Spotted on Twitch:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Just landed via Telegram:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Spotted on X:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Live now on Reddit:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about aging highlighting morning neck pain with playful, witty humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging – waking up feeling like you've been practicing your bat pose all night 🦇😂 Who knew getting older would come with free neck pain as a bonus gift! Just part of the charming package deal, folks! 🎁 #AgingGracefully"

aging, bat, fun, getting, hanging, humor, morning, neck, neck pain, old, pain, sleep, upside, wake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Trending via YouTube:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Seen just now on Discord:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Trending via Snapchat:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

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