Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.
  • The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.
  • Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”
  • I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.
  • House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.
  • Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.