Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

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Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

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With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

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I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

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The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

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If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

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Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

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A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

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I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

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Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

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I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”