Skip to content

Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log

Someone from has bookmarked:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from has copied:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from has viewed:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from has viewed:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from has shared:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from has shared:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from has copied:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from has shared:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from has downloaded:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Funny Quotes Data

New Funny Quotes

647 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,809

Funny Quotes Topics

13,788

Funny Quotes Images

10,809

6 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log

Seen just now on Slack:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Freshly posted on X:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Freshly posted on Threads:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Shared recently on Threads:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Spotted on TikTok:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

5 months ago

Share on Facebook
Share on Pinterest
Share on X
Share on LinkedIn
Share on Reddit
Share on WhatsApp
Share on Threads
Email this Page

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Goodbye, ex! No need to rekindle old flames when you're a whole bonfire on your own. See you on the flip side! #MovingOn"

anything, desire, goodbye, i, never, rekindle, relationship, see you

Related Funny Quotes

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.
Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?
Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.
I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.
I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Trending Funny Quotes

5 months ago
Share → : I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.
6 months ago
Share → : My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.
5 months ago
Share → : To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.
5 months ago
Share → : Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.
5 months ago
Share → : Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.
5 months ago
Share → : My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.
5 months ago
Share → : How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?
6 months ago
Share → : I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Search

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up.

Trending Funny Quotes

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.
Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.
People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.
Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.
I put the mess in domestic.

Hot Funny Quotes

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.
Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.
My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.
Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!
Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Trending Topics

activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data

New Funny Quotes

647 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,809

Funny Quotes Topics

13,788

Funny Quotes Images

10,809

6 minutes ago

3,415

Funny Quotes of the Month

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.
I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.
Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?
I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.
Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Funny Quotes of the Year

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.
Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.
Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.
Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.
Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Activity Log

Someone from has copied:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from has shared:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from has copied:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from has downloaded:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from has bookmarked:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from has bookmarked:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from has viewed:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from has shared:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Social Media Log

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Just landed via Reddit:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Just landed via Messenger:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Making waves on Snapchat:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Broadcasted on X:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Breaking via Reddit:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Share Wordgag

Share on Facebook
Share on Pinterest
Share on X
Share on WhatsApp
Share on Threads
Email this Page

Home
Random
Disclaimer
Privacy Policy
Terms & Conditions

Wordgag on Facebook
Wordgag on Pinterest
Wordgag on X
Wordgag on Instagram

Made with in Sydney

© 2025. All fights retarded.

© 2025. All fights retarded.

Funny quotes on Facebook
Funny quotes on Pinterest
Funny quotes on X
Funny quotes on Instagram

Made with in Sydney

Home
Random
Disclaimer
Privacy Policy
Terms & Conditions