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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

14 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Seen just now on Discord:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Making waves on Messenger:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Trending via Snapchat:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Just shared via Reddit:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Spotted on Telegram:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Seen just now on Slack:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Breaking via Slack:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

5 months ago

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍎🍌🍊 "Ah yes, the prestigious profession of a 'fruit stickerer' – where attention to detail and precision are essential! 🤹‍♂️ Who knew perfectly placing those tiny stickers could be such a ripe career choice? 🍇🍐 Remember, it's all about that peel-fection! 🤣"

fruit, fruit labeling, good, humor, i, job, labeling, lighthearted, little, put, quirky, quirky job, self-assessment, stickers, think, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

14 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Just landed via Twitch:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Live now on Twitch:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Making waves on Slack:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Broadcasted on Slack:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Just shared via Twitch:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Going viral on WeChat:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

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